Naked Man?
by kitsune203
Summary: There is a naked man on ch. 9, pg. 6 you can check of Naruto. This is my reasoning behind it, and some insight on the crazy minds of those of rivals. GaiKakashi rivalry. Implied kakairu. Rated M for safety. Drama for all those dramatic pauses.


Why a Naked Man Appears on the Ninth Chapter (Sixth Page) of Naruto: 

A (Relatively) Sane Explanation

_Spoilers: Well, if you didn't notice the naked man, I guess._

_Disclaim: I don't own the plot or anything. Not even the naked man (check it, he's there). However, I do own the plot and the reasoning. It all came out of my insane mind. No one is to be blamed. Except that kid in first grade (kicks)._

_Summary: There is a naked man on ch. 9, pg. 6 of Naruto. This is my reasoning behind it, and some insight on the crazy minds of those of rivals. Gai-Kakashi rivalry. Implied kakairu._

_Dedicated to: The Pretty boy fan club._

_Notes: I had fun writing this, and conceiving it as an idea. Sorry about the lack of perverted-ness, but I think a naked guy is enough for that factor. Right? **Please** reassure me. For I don't want to write a sequel with un-youthful mansex between anyone. o.o;;;_

**Begin crazy-ness**

Kakashi was angry. Why was he angry? Well, Iruka wasn't spending any time with him.

It would have been one thing if it had been Iruka's teaching, but no. It was not his teaching. Just an annoying man in a green spandex get-up. But how in the world could Kakashi pry these two apart? How?

He thought through their years of rivalry. Or, at least what he could remember. _Darn… whoever knew these things might **actually** have use in my life? What was that one challenge? Something with a beaver? Or was that a sexual fantasy I had…?_

"Kakashi! Kakashi!" Naruto tore Kakashi from his thoughts, as he pointed angrily at Sasuke.

"Yes, Naruto?" Kakashi said, slightly peeved. However, he couldn't do anything about it. Naruto's spirit wouldn't die with one stern talking to, especially if what he had heard from Iruka was true.

"Kakashi! Sasuke's saying mean things to me!"

"Like what, Naruto?"

"Like," Naruto paused to think for a moment... or so it seemed. "Sasuke! What were you saying?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto, who had been attempting to get Kakashi's attention for the past five minutes yet could not even remember what it was he had to say. "… Moron."

"Like that!" Naruto looked at Kakashi, who had slipped off once again. "Kakashi!"

Kakashi then spotted his self-proclaimed eternal rival. "Training's done for today."

"Geez, why does he run away like that?" Naruto wondered out loud.

"Naruto! Don't wonder such stupid things out loud!" Sakura scolded Naruto. _Though… I'd like to know, too. _

"I'm going home." Sasuke said, as he started to walk home.

"Just you wait Sasuke! I'll beat you one day! Then you'll stop acting so high and mighty!" Naruto called after his rival.

"…You're even more of a moron than I thought." And with those words, Sasuke walked away.

Sakura looked at the retreating form of Sasuke. "Nice going, Naruto! Now he's gone!" And with that, she chased after Sasuke. "Hey, wait up!"

Naruto shrugged. _I wonder if Iruka will take me out for ramen tonight…_

**With Kakashi and his "Eternal Rival"**

"Ah! My eternal rival!" Gai cried out to Kakashi. "How does a challenge sound on a day such as this, while we both have our health and everlasting inner youth?"

"It sounds good," Kakashi stated plainly, as though he didn't care. _Oh… Just you wait Gai. My ingenious plan will make Iruka run away screaming! Then I will have him to myself. Unless we bring in the beaver…_

"Right! This challenge I choose! And should I not win, I shall… I shall…" Gai trailed off.

"Sit naked for the length of one day in the mission office?" Kakashi said. _Then Iruka and I will have a whole day._

"Why of course! What better way to test my manly pride?" Gai cried tears of manliness. And they were indeed manly tears, for they were thick and robust (as Gai himself might have said).

"Right. What's the challenge?"

"The challenge shall be…" Gai added a dramatic pause, so that any thinking of observing would have nearly had a second glance at what was going on before moving on with their merry business. "A test!"

"Of what?" Kakashi asked, getting impatient.

"…" Gai added yet another dramatic pause, for dramatic pauses were manly. And manliness was next to youthfulness, with would bring him closer to his prime! Ah, yes. Manliness and youthfulness were good, indeed. "Of our youth!"

"… What will the test of youth test us _on_, pray tell?" Kakashi asked, getting rather impatient. The dramatic pauses didn't help much either.

"…" Another dramatic pause, another fragment of sanity gone. For during your manly youth you do not need sanity! Such thing is womanly, and Gai was certainly not womanly! He was manly! Manly! Manly and youthful! "I have not yet decided!"

"What?"

"I have not yet decided the test, for choosing a test is to be made on the spot, as many youth do!" Gai screamed out in his now coarse voice.

"How about a test of brain?" Kakashi asked, hoping this would appease his opponent. He couldn't wait for the whole day alone with Iruka.

"My rival! You shall not fool me, for you are clearly the smarter of the two of us! No… We shall instead have a battle of brawn! No… not of brawn. Of luck!"

"Luck?"

"Indeed! For this way, we may make an appropriate wager, my eternal rival."

"Wager?"

"Indeed! For you never challenge yourself! You must use a punishment if you do not pass, therefore we shall challenge each other in the vigorous battle of…" Gai paused, allowing the drama to flow. Or at least what little drama there is. "Strip poker!"

Kakashi paled. Going around a day with no clothes… Sure it was a long-time dream of his, but there were children to think of! And the beaver! Oh, how he would suffer if the beaver saw his… assets. That beaver had something against his loin, he swore it.

"Alright." And with this, Gai and Kakashi started off to the comfort of Kakashi's home.

**Skip to Poker Game**

"Oh, my rival! This may be a comeback yet!" Gai exclaimed, as he had been at his boxers for four rounds. Now, Kakashi took off his socks, leaving only his boxers on.

Upon seeing his boxers, Gai laughed. "While you, my rival, make fun of my Super Mutant Ninja Turtles boxers, you, my rival, and your Blues Clues underwear take the prize!" And indeed, the cute little blue paw prints adorned his undergarments.

"They're comfortable, alright?"

"Whatever you say… Blue." Gai broke out into another fit of laughter.

"Just play the game."

"Alright, let us play the final round!"

Kakashi dealt the cards, praying that he would win. If Gai lost, and sat naked, no one would pay him heed. However, with all the exes Kakashi had… He didn't want to think about the damage they could do to his assets! For all he knew, they'd chop them off! Or pierce it!

Kakashi looked down at his hand. "Alright, I have a full house. How could I lose?"

Gai looked at his hand, and was pleased. "Ah! I have a very youthful set of twos! I shall defeat my eternal rival!" and thus a grin spread upon his face.

Kakashi knew that grin. Gai _wanted_ him to fold. Ah, but if he did that, Gai might have only been bluffing. Then he could win with two sets of twos! Or something equally bad! He decided he would take the risk. After all, it was either him or Gai. He wouldn't go down without a fight!

"I'll play."

"Very well, my eternal rival! I shall defeat you and your un-youthful usages of cards!"

"Whatever," Kakashi said, laying down his cards to reveal a very nice full house.

"Ah! My eternal rival! I shall defeat you not… As I only have two sets of twos!"

And so Kakashi was right. He _was_ only bluffing. _Thank God. _

**The next day**

There was talk among the villagers about what on Earth Gai was doing. Given, he was known for his oddities far and wide. They were just part of him. However, walking around naked for a whole day was something that took the prize. Even over the time a pink got in with his whites, and his greens and oranges. Thus, he had a pink/green/orange jumpsuit, with pink-orange socks.

However, nothing on the body was even worse than the ADD jumpsuit (as it had come to be known far and wide), something townsfolk considered totally impossible.

And it was this way he got to sit on the window, right next to the mission window.

_I will get you yet, my eternal rival. Just you wait. Just you wait…_

**End One-shot**

Whoo! It's done! At long last! It's done! I had been planning this story for a while, so… I'm glad it's done! For I had fun writing it!

Well, R&R, then R&R (Rest and relax, then read and review!)


End file.
